The Sane Artist with INSANE ADD!

Finally arrived in El Paso!

2011-06-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well, after one week on the road and three weeks here in temporary housing, I dare say we are beginning to adjust to our new surroundings. After spending a few days at the pool, my pigment-deficient skin has started to brown. And we are signing on our new home the end of this month-yay! To prepare the new house, we'll be measuring and ordering window blinds, fans with lighting, furniture, garage door opener, refrigerator, washer and dryer, and eventually buying another vehicle since we have been living off the one truck since NY.

I have been busy creating all the while. I even made a Dallas Cowboys-inspired blue and white shawl! LOL...Washer/ribbon necklaces and handmade satin poppy hair pins is next and once I get in my new office, who KNOWS what will be next?!

Yankees Move to Cowboy Country

2011-02-28T03:56:00.000-08:00

Well, after almost 4 years here in NY, we received a conditional offer for a transfer to El Paso, TX in two months' time. We have a home to finish projects on before listing for sale, big ticket items to sell (don't think we will need a riding mower in the suburbs or a snow blower!) Selling off our little Subaru for a Texas-sized truck and trailer, as well as multiple little odds and ends that won't be making the trip.

It is not such a huge change for us since we moved HERE from AZ. We miss the dry, warm climate and the friendly folk you are sure to find there. And most importantly, I will be near-ER to my family and friends out West.
So much to do in so little time. And of course, the endless months that my husband will be away on details looms over my thoughts. BUT, I choose to look at this as our blessing, one that WE prayed for. So, it's on our way we go!

30 and entering a new chapter in my book of Life

2010-10-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a healing week for me. You see, at the young age of 30, I had a hysterectomy for chronic women's issues. I have had to either lie in bed or sit in the La-Z Boy for 99% of my days and it has really forced me to do some soul-searching and thinking about my life and some of the upcoming decisions my family will have to face.

And again, God has been there to shower me with His grace and mercy. He has brought my heart and head under one accord for the first time in a LONG time, and I have a renewed sense of purpose and reason. No matter what life may throw at us this upcoming year, I know that He will continue to bring me full-circle under His plan and reveal the mercies He has in store for me if I would just TRUST Him long enough to let down my guard. You see, I am the only thing that usually stands between me and spiritual breakthrough. And I just don't have the energy anymore to be my own worst enemy anymore. Here I am God, take me.

There is such a peace in knowing that if I simply lean into God, He will take my burdens and give them back as gifts. He doesn't just repackage my grief in pretty paper....he takes it, transforms it into a blessing, and then presents it to me as a brand new mercy and a lesson learned. I am so thankful to be an heir to the eternal throne of a living God and knowing that there is more to life than this crude, ashen shell of my body and my surroundings awaiting me once I leave them makes every hardship and valley easier to weather. Somehow, the idea of being His princess has never lost its allure and beauty on me. I am still that little girl who loved playing dress up....just a few decades wiser!

Rev. 3:20-
if only I could open the door before I hear you knocking, there would never be a moment of you standing on the outside looking in....

Just When I Thought....

2010-03-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people who really appreciates my quiet time and solitude. I am smothered easily and I grow weary of company after a while. I enjoy my little family and never grow tired of my spouse. However, I have found that this voluntary life of solitude and peace allows me to become a hermit FAR too easily. I begin to forget just how much my friends and family enrich my life and how the laughter seems to just bubble out of me when they are near. Where I once was very somber and quiet, just one good friend seems to flip me over on my side with giggles. I haven't really allowed myself to make friends where I live right now, and other than one truly dependable friend I already knew here, most of my true friends live thousands of miles away. That makes it REALLY easy to shut down and invert.

The reason for this rant is that I met a new friend through my son's school this past month. It helped that I already absolutely ADORED her little girl, as I have had the chance to get to know her during the time I volunteer in class. I should have known that I would love her Mommy even more! We have spent nearly every day together for the past two weeks, and although my house and laundry have been neglected, my spirit has been thoroughly tended to! Lattes and laughter have been the theme of our week, and this lady who is so very much like me (in that neither of us trusts easily and we don't let people in quickly) have come to rely on this newfound friendship and the joy it has provided.

So.....just when I thought I was strong enough to brave this world as a hermit....my new friend has reminded me that the FUN, LOVING woman I was created to be was really just waiting to see the light of day and required a friend's hand to show me the way!

While Waiting in Line.....

2009-08-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

I have discovered a lot about the person I thought I was contrasted with the person I have actually turned out to be while waiting in line, waiting in the doctor's office, waiting behind a collision scene on the highway while creeping at a snail's pace in first gear, walking through Popi's convalescent hospital amidst a sea of drawn faces, extended, withered hands, eager grunts of hello and the smell of dying and death.

While waiting in line at the market, am I standing there, arms folded over chest, huffing and sighing as the woman with 4 rowdy children ahead of me places her things topsy turvy onto the belt while spilling her HUGE stash of coupons all over the floor, cart and belt? Am I secretly wishing that another register would open just so that I won't have to help her retrieve all those mini scraps of newsprint that will save her less than $5.00 total only to have to make eye contact with the befuddled cashier once I am finished?

I can happily report that this may have been my reaction in my youth once or twice, or maybe even more occasions than that...but no longer. I AM that Mom with two children pulling me in opposite directions with a makeup job that has LONG since slid down half my face because I am having a hot flash, hair angrily piled on top of my head, and NOT in the cute, red-carpet tousled kind of way! I AM that woman who may have felt beautiful at one time, but now just moves through the day avoiding looking at anything shiny that could betray my thin mind, revealing the scars and stretch marks of motherhood as well as too many years spent in the sun with nothing but baby oil between me and its harmful rays.

I CAN relate to people in all walks of life now, and I can honestly say that I try to be helpful when I can. I try to spread His light in the little things, like visiting the nursing home and smiling at the people who are just melting to gain a glance of someone WITHOUT pills or juice in her hands. Or, helping that little old lady at Aldi's reach the cereal box without any dents on the toppity-top shelf. Or smiling at that banker who is SO incredibly rude and snide that you would swear she had a bounty on you, and asking her if she was having a hard morning.

I am by no means "there" yet, but I would like to think that all my hours spent lingering in the aisles at the store, simply chatting with a stranger, or giving more than just the facts when dealing with people in town hall, have shown my children that people are more important than things, and the best thing you can give of yourself is your time.

Not much of a point to this post....simply an emptying of the jelly bean jar I call a brain.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining!

2009-07-17T06:17:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday, my son woke me up as he climbed into bed next to me sobbing and coughing like a seal. I was scheduled to meet with a wonderful lady from Craigslist to purchase her serger that morning, but realized that would have to wait while I cared for my little guy.

We got ourselves a dr's appt. and traveled immediately to the doctor's office approx. 1 hour away. We waited for a while to be called back, and when we were, I was greeted with a very pleasant surprise. Whenever I take the kids somewhere I know will be slightly boring or tedious for them, I bring along their "treasure bags". These are little bags I made specially just for them using their picks of fabrics along with some vintage finds from my Gram's crafting stash I received when she passed. That way, they each have a little piece of her wherever they go.

My son was wearing his draped across his chest like a messenger bag, and my daughter had hers on each shoulder across her back. While my son was being weighed, one of the nurses noticed his bag and asked him where he got it. He replied, "Oh, my Mama made it for me. She makes everything!". The nurse couldn't believe it as she looked over at my daughter and then at me with the two bags I was also holding. She asked if I had made them all, and I sheepishly replied "yes." She told me they were awesome and I should sell them! I told her that I had a website and she asked for all my business cards! One of the other nurses requested a Coywboys bag for her son as well as a Doctor asking for one for her daughter!

So, while my intentions were purely to keep my kids entertained, God blessed with the opportunity of exposure within a group of people I already knew, but who didn't know I designed! I was so excited when I got home, that I couldn't wait to tell my husband.

When he arrived, he told me, "Babe, that's how sales are made! You have an awesome product and people notice well-made unique items...it just so happens that you made yours and brought sales to YOUR doorstep instead of to a chain store! Good for you!"

Every cloud has a silver lining, I tell you! Both kids are now down with something yucky, feverish and mucky, but my hopes are high and my creativity unleased yet again! Thanks so much, Penn-Fair Pediatrics for your wonderful compliments and genuine interest in my handcrafted bags!!!!!!

Love, Loss, Life, Laughter

2009-06-14T17:46:00.001-07:00

It seems so incredibly crazy to me that just one week ago I was in fetal position on the floor, mourning the loss of my beloved pup. Just today, I laughed hysterically at my daughter who is just the funniest little version of me I have ever seen!

And I received an unexpected call from my husband tonight from some place very far away, and went through an emotional roller coaster of tears and tender words and then having to say goodbye for another three weeks. His voice sounded so different, so much older and wiser and tender. I miss him terribly.

But God is good all the time, and He has found ways to keep me busy in Daniel's absence. My garden is beginning to sprout! YAY!

Diesel's grave has begun to grow over and is not so fresh in person and in my mind that I grieve whenever I see it. Now I can actually go out there and talk to him without crying. I even take him spoonfuls of peanut butter at night! Though, I think the other little woodland creatures are the eventual recipients of that treat!

I was blessed to have my oldest niece for the WHOLE weekend! I love that kid so much...she is how I want to be when I grow up! LOL. Seriously though, my life is richer for having known her, and to watch her patience and compassion and spiritual depth is awe-inspiring.

My art has kept me entertained, as well as challenged. I have been able to vent, artistically, over personal connections I have lost against my will or have personally severed by choice.

It is amazing to me the exact moment in time when you realize who your true friends and loved ones really are. The ones who care for you beyond words and grieve when you grieve, laugh when you laugh, and pick you up when you just physically can't do it yourself.

True friends are the ones who know you inside and out, yet they love you in spite of it all! My world has gotten a little smaller this month. My circle of trusted people has been balanced out by those I can no longer trust with those who have revealed themselves trustworthy.

Life is a winding, bending, topsy-turvy road with loops and straight paths and forks at every choice. I am a better, stronger, more accepting person for my twisty roads, and I wouldn't exchange them for a beach stroll for any amount of riches in the world.

All By Myself....

2009-05-31T14:18:00.001-07:00

With hubby's change of scenery this month, I realize I will be pushed to my limits at times with everything we normally share in the responsibility of.
Caring for a newly-planted garden (a veggie garden for the girl who killed Ivy in NY!), mowing the yards with the tractor, keeping the kids in line, repainting and remodeling our bedroom, son's room and downstairs bathroom, PLUS opening TWO new shops on Etsy....I will be a very busy girl!

It will be a good time alone, as I learn to cope with things on my own and learn new ways of doing things WITHOUT having been shown by my DH! I am counting on the Lord to reveal new and exciting things to me during this time, and to also uproot seeds of bitterness and unforgiveness I may have sown in the past year. I am asking that He show me the ugly parts of myself I keep hidden so well that I may bring them to light and soften them, allow Him to mold them into Godly qualities.

I am really enjoying getting back into my art and you can see some of my newer, lighter pieces on notecards here:
GirlMeetPenMeetPaper

So, I would love to hear from you all and hopefully reconnect with some of my gals on my Etsy teams while I have some free time to myself. Looking forward to it!

Tit For Tat- The Winner of That!

2009-03-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

Our deadline for the Tit for Tat contest was last night at midnight, and I pulled a name from the hat this morning and.....

drumroll please........

Kathleen from Tapestry316!!!!

Congratulations kathleen and I will be contacting you to find out your prize preferences~

Thank you everyone for particpating and stay tuned for more things to come!

Tit for Tat- Can you Top That? CONTEST

2009-02-26T17:03:00.000-08:00

What the beans?
I'm giving away a swell barrette to one person who can tell me:

1.) WHAT is your passion (horseback riding, scuba diving, oil painting, gardening, bird watching, toilet cleaning, truffle eating, photography, jogging......) and how long have you been a fanatic of that passion?

2.) WHAT have you had to sacrifice to persue that passion?

Here, I will start us off with a little tidbit:
I am passionately creative with many different mediums, but there is one in particular that I just can't seem to get enough of......you guessed it!
CROCHETING!!!!!
There is just something about a swell yarn that makes everything right with the world.

I have given up more lively activities to persue this lap-necessitating hobby (and thus sacrificed a perfectly fit body for a more mushy, gushy version of its once glorious self)

And now for the fun part.....

I will review all the entries and pick the one that tickles my fancy the most (or I will draw a name out of a hat if I just can not choose between all the wonderful entries).

YOUR barrette will be customized to your liking. Leave your fave colors and whether you are demure or decorated in your fashion. I will surprise you with your very own, OOAK MaticStudio barrette!

PLEASE leave your method of contact in your entry so I may notify you if you've won, and best of luck to you!

*********DEADLINE SUNDAY, March 8th, 2009************

Matters of the Heart

2009-02-08T03:12:00.000-08:00

You know the feeling you get when you have done something really swell for someone else? Like when you help a stranger pick up groceries they have dropped, or pay for someone else's meal WITHOUT letting on it was you? Or how about when you leave an extra big tip for that waitress whom you know has landed on hard times?
Well, those are all wonderful things that I know make my Jesus smile.
But what about giving from the heart? Not your wallet, not your physical contributions, not even your prayers and support.....

What about FORGIVENESS?

Ewww....I know I hit a hard spot with that one! I have learned a very hard lesson this week. I have learned that there is a VERy fine line between love and hate. They are both polar opposites of passion. You can love someone passionately and hate them with that same passion when they wrong you.
Hate is NOT the absence of love. I believe it is simply the passion of love turned bitter and rancid and venomous. Love is the all-encompassing act by which you put others before yourself. Your heart and attention are centered on laying down your priorities daily in order to allow for wiggle room where God may want you to work.
Indifference is simply the absence of feeling, one way or another. Indifference can many times be misconstrewed as hate....but it's not. Okay, I know I mentioned forgiveness and I am getting there, I promise! Forgiveness is just about the most difficult thing in the world for me because I was always taught to forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones.
Forgiving is NOT forgetting. Forgiving is releasing that person from your vice-grip of venom and rage and betrayal and bitterness. Forgiveness is allowing that person to seek their OWN forgiveness from God for an act they may or may NOT have been aware they committed.
I had the wonderful opportunity this week to see what hate and venom can do to one's own heart. You see, when your energy is focused is loathing another person, you aren't hurting them or their well-being in the slightest. You only hurt yourself. You corrode from the inside out until all that's left is shell of the wonderful child of God you used to be.
However, FORGIVING someone who has wronged you (and I mean over and over and over again) is not simply walking away without letting them know how much they have hurt you. It is NOT forgetting the lessons they have taught you in order that you allow them to commit them again. Forgiving is getting rid of that bile and anger you feel toward them and releasing them of their infinite wretched status you have created for them in your heart. You keep the lessons learned WITHOUT constantly feeling the burn of how they made you feel the first time you were taught.
It is such a rush and a relief and a weight lifted from your shoulders when you can truly forgive someone. And for me, it was TOTALLY and COMPLETELY God who changed my heart because I had tried changing it on my own, and sister? It wasn't happening! I had to pray from the depths of my soul that He would release me of this bondage and change my heart.
And you know what? I went to bed clutching that prayer at night and woke up free of my chains of hatred in the morning! Praise God, He DOES heal....even in the places that we covet and protect with our very lives.
I don't know why I felt the need to share this with the world, but God does. He put that need there! So I leave you with this thought and challenge-

Is there someone you have locked up in your heart with chains of unforgiveness and hate? Has someone wronged you in such a way or so repeatedly that you think it is IMPOSSIBLE to look on them with love? Are you living your life in such a manner that your guarded heart has clouded your very vision?

I challenge you today to allow God to change your heart and experience the awesome joy and peace that comes from forgiving someone. I would love to hear YOUR stories of impossible forgiveness and how you have overcome, or how you would LIKE to overcome this ugly, nasty thing you harbor in your soul.

Oh So Luscious!

2009-01-30T07:16:00.001-08:00

I have purchased bath and body products on Etsy before and I recently got in on Luscious Lather's Buy One Get one FREE sale! And, as skeptical as I am about purchasing things I can't smell and touch in person, Diane at http://lusciouslather.etsy.com/ took away my fear forever by sending out the most delicious smelling combinations of soaps imaginable!

I will never again have to wonder if my soap orders will be perfectly awesome and magnificent...as long as I order from LusciousLather!!!!

This Turkish Mocha blend made me want to combine my bath with a mocha!!! (and I did, I tell you, I did!!!)

I also purchased a rice flower and shea that was out of this world! If you appreciate the feel and smell of wonderful, natural, handcrafted soaps versus the dry, mass-produced store brands, visit Diane at http://LusciousLather.etsy.com and be treated like royalty from the time you order until you towel off from your first bath with her soaps!

Jumping on the Bandwagon!

2009-01-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

A funny thing happened to me this week! I was really becoming disheartened with my sales and presence on Etsy...even woke up with the intent to remove everything from my shop. I had, just the night before, changed my profile to reflect my love for my Lord and the fact that He and He alone has gifted me with my talents and I strive to use those gifts to glorify Him and further His kingdom.

I was curious to see how many followers I would lose because of my stance for Christ. I was even prepared to receive some negative feedback. Then a funny thing happened!

I was informed by KnitBlitz.etsy.com that I had been featured on the FRONT PAGE!! I don't think I have EVER been on the FP! And before we could all get a screenshot of it, the item SOLD! Then the item the curator replaced it with sold also! I sold 5 items in 2 days which, for me, is like one month's worth of sales!!!!!

I really do believe the Lord blessed me with sales and the ability to plant seeds with my business cards and the manner in which I treated my customers.

Okay, hands are beginning to hurt, but I figured it was about time I got to blogging since it seems like I am the last one in my group NOT TO have a blog!